When to Hold Back: Rethinking Honesty in Leadership

We’ve all heard the advice: “Just be honest.” In a workplace that values authenticity, transparency is often encouraged as the gold standard. Leaders are urged to say it like it is and practice radical honesty at all times.

But what if that approach is not always the best one? What if how you communicate matters just as much as what you communicate?

Honesty is absolutely essential in leadership. However, radical honesty without emotional intelligence can do more harm than good. The consequences can include broken trust, disengaged teams, and valuable employees choosing to leave.

So how do you balance honesty with care? How do you lead with truth while also building people up?

The Honest Leader's Dilemma

Many leaders feel stuck between two extremes. Either they say nothing to avoid conflict or they say everything and risk alienating their team. Either way, performance suffers and relationships deteriorate.

There is a better way. It is called purposeful honesty. This approach combines clarity, empathy, and timing. It allows leaders to communicate the truth without sacrificing trust.

Purposeful honesty means:

· Offering feedback in a constructive and respectful way

· Being transparent with intention, not just for the sake of being blunt

· Fostering a culture of open dialogue rather than fear

A Leader Who Models the Shift: Sharmili Reddy

In a recent episode of the Unconventional Leadership Podcast, Sharmili Reddy, Executive Director of Planning and Development Services of Kenton County and a long-time TMI client, offers an insightful take on this topic.

"Radical honesty isn’t always the right answer. You can be truthful without being harsh."

Her leadership style focuses on self-awareness and contextual communication. Instead of defaulting to bluntness, she evaluates the situation, the audience, and the intended outcome before speaking.

Her approach encourages leaders to:

· Use honesty to build relationships, not damage them

· Offer clear feedback with empathy and respect

· Pause before speaking to consider the full impact of their words

What Purposeful Honesty Looks Like in Action

If your goal is to develop trust and retain top talent, here are four ways to practice more intentional communication:

1. Ask permission before giving feedback. For example, "Can I share something I’ve observed?" This simple question creates a sense of safety and openness.

2. Provide context. Help the person understand why the feedback matters to them, the team, and the organization.

3. Stay open. Invite input and listen to their perspective without judgement.

4. Follow up. Continue the conversation beyond a single moment to show your commitment to their growth.

Listen to the Full Conversation

To hear how this works in real life, listen to Sharmili’s full conversation on the Unconventional Leadership Podcast. Watch here.

Leadership Is Not About Being Brutally Honest

Effective leaders do not simply speak the truth. They speak it in ways that invite growth and strengthen trust. They know when to pause, when to listen, and when to lead with clarity and care.

When you master purposeful honesty, you don’t just avoid hurt feelings – you build a culture where feedback is welcomed, trust flourishes, and people perform at their best.

Ready to Transform Your Leadership Communication

If you want to improve the way you communicate with your team, Talent Magnet Institute can help. Our coaching and leadership development programs equip leaders with the tools to inspire performance, build trust, and retain top talent.

Learn more about how we can support your team.